The importance of values in nlp
Have you ever encountered negative emotions such as fear and stress just when you decided to move towards your goals and desires?
Have you noticed that hearing some words from even your loved ones has caused you to get angry and angry?
What is the most important reason that we feel that we can not understand the other party only after a short time of marriage?
What happens when everything seems to be ready for success but we are constantly making excuses for action?
What is the main cause of remorse among people?
What are values?
Values are our top priorities throughout life. That is, things that are very important to us, and when we pay attention to them, we experience a balanced life.
Values are slogans, such as: health, security, family, freedom, wealth and so on.
Most people either have no knowledge of their values, or do not recognize the priorities between them, or do not take specific action on their values, which is why they experience so much worry and anxiety throughout their lives.
When our values are ignored by others, we experience emotions such as anger and rage, and when we violate our own values, we experience torment of conscience and feelings of guilt.
How are values formed?
NLP believes that all of us human beings are influenced by our environment from birth and receive a variety of information from the environment that forms the basis of many of our future behaviors.
Our minds receive and process all this information, and accordingly, some of the things that get the most attention shape our values.
As we grow and receive more information throughout life, the number of these values increases, and during adolescence our most important values in life are identified, even though we have no knowledge of them.
Changes in lifestyle, cultural and social conditions, changes in attitudes, and many other things can cause the priorities between our values to change over and over again, but the values themselves do not change easily.
What is the difference between values and beliefs?
Beliefs are our driving force and motivation to move towards values. That is, a set of beliefs together form an important value in our minds.
In other words, beliefs are why we move towards values. As a child, for example, we received various information from parents or others about the importance of money for a good life.
For example: money makes us prosperous and happy… or money makes others respect us more… or money can make us more secure and…
Each and every one of these sentences, if repeated, will shape our beliefs about wealth, and based on these beliefs, money and wealth are a value to us. Our own experiences also play a significant role in this regard, such as when, for example, we observed that a person, when trying to get out of a taxi, told the driver that he had no money with him and that the driver had disrespected him, and this observation reinforced Previous beliefs have been about money.
Now, if the things we do in life are not in the direction of earning money and wealth, despite the interest we may have in those things, we gradually get out of balance and become unmotivated and lethargic.
The opposite is also true. When money is considered a cause of misery, unrestrainedness and corruption in families , it will no longer be considered a value for a person, because the beliefs behind it forbid him from having money and wealth.
That is why some people can never pursue money-making jobs or have a good relationship with rich people. Therefore, the role of a set of beliefs in the formation of a value is very important and that is why changing values is not an easy task, because each value is supported by strong beliefs.
Is the value the same as the need?
Definitely not. Needs are things that are formed according to our living conditions and disappear if they are met, while values are not.
It is as if a person has to have an income to meet the basic needs of his family, but this person is not looking for wealth. This means that once these needs are met, it is no longer important for him to have more money.
Many times we become so involved in meeting our daily needs that we neglect our values. While our mind reacts to any disregard for values and causes our lives to become out of balance.
Like when we work so hard that we do not care about our health and we continue to work until we get sick and at the same time we do not feel good. Because values are strong mental roots and the mind is responsible for protecting them.
Why are values so important?
In addition to the above, it can be said that values shape our behavioral skeleton. That is, our behavioral responses often depend entirely on our values, even if we are unaware of them.
Values also affect our abilities and skills. There are times when we are fully aware that in order to be successful we must add to our abilities, but since that skill is not in line with our values, we either do not pursue it from the beginning or give it up too soon.
On the other hand, values also influence and define our identity, that is, our role and why in the universe.
Until we know our values, we do not know exactly where we stand in the universe, and that is why we do many things, even seemingly successful ones, but none of them satisfy us.
Values also affect the quality of our communication. We create expectations in the mind based on our value frameworks in our relationships, and if those expectations are not met or disregarded, we become discouraged and frustrated by the continuation of that relationship.
At the same time, values play a decisive role in our goals and decisions and can motivate us to move towards our goals or, conversely, prevent us from moving towards them.
Many times everything seems to be going well, but at the last minute we suddenly feel locked in and unable to make any decisions.
Like someone who wants to immigrate to another country and has made all the necessary plans, but the closer he gets to the set time to go, the more anxious he becomes.
In this example, being with the family may be considered a value for the person, which because the immigrant is forced to leave the family, the mind takes a strong position against this issue and forms negative feelings in the person. At the same time, values affect our feelings and emotions. Many negative emotions such as fear, frustration, anger, anxiety, feelings of emptiness, etc. can be due to ignoring values.
How does NLP work in recognizing values?
Neurolinguistic programming knowledge or NLP has a special place in the discussion of values. NLP emphasizes that in order to achieve the important desires and goals of life, it is very important to pay attention to the role of values and while identifying values, it is necessary to prioritize them on the one hand and interpret each value by the other, because The interpretation of two identical values for two different people can be quite different.
In marriage, for example, a value such as respect may be high for both, but each has a different interpretation of respect based on different beliefs about that value.
With its amazing techniques, NLPs help enthusiasts identify their values, prioritize them, set goals for them, and lead a balanced life.
